Random Ramblings

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Working more on my future standup career.

Just a rough draft here.
This is based on something that happened this weekend….quite possibly the stupidest thing I've done in like 8 years probably…

A little back ground :

"The Office"--This will be described in an earlier bit in the act about my goal of not touching anything in a public restroom. Delving into my neurosis of you never know what goes on in a public bathroom and also dealing with a young son who wanted to touch everything in the Office when he was younger (he has since been broken of this need)

Later on in the act I go into this bit (this is kind of a rough draft and has less freestyling once its in the act):

Have you ever done something so dumb that you begin to question your own intelligence. Something so dumb that you don’t realize it once you've done it but didn't notice it until say half a day later? You know some people may cast a vote for Ralph Nader for President and then realize after stepping out of the booth "Wow that was pretty dumb." Some people may have sex with an intern stick a cigar in certain places on her and then realize that it was a dumb thing to do……well maybe that's not the best example because they may never . Anyway you know deep down in your heart of hearts you've done something dumb, it may have been six months ago it may have been this week but don't lie to yourself we're all prone to do dumb things. My name is Kevin and I've done something dumb. It all started out innocently enough a Friday at work you know get to dress "casual" because my company is so…HIP!! No really jeans and a shirt oh they are too kind to us. Well it was a normal day I get out of the shower get dressed and go into another great day of work. While I was driving to work I realized that something just wasn't right yet couldn't put my finger on exactly what the problem was. I slave away at work and my concerns of something just not being right were cast from my mind as I was busy at work surfing the internet…for work research really. Okay it wasn't research but it does make me wonder what people did before the internet to screw around at work. So I get through the day and have a meeting after work and all is well. My earlier problems with something being a bit off seemed to melt away in early weekend bliss. After the meeting I had to stop at the great Target stoer to pick up something I really didn't need no doubt. Well as I was at the store I felt the urge to hit "the office". I enter the office and get all ready to drpo the kids off at the pool. As I sit there I look down and realize the thing that was not right all day. The tightness around my ass the looseness up front. I had realized……I had my underwear on backwards all day. I would like to tell you that this oversight and wardrobe malfunction occurred that morning as I was quickly getting dressed after getting up late after an all night sex carnival with various swimsuit models but I would be lying then. How did this happen? I did something dumb. You would think that the unnatural tightness around by buttock region earlier in the day would have been a hint but maybe to a normal person not this dumb guy.

I'm also working on a bit titled "I hate Walmart….but it loves me."


  • I read your blog about your experience last May at CEC for your son's birthday. This year Check out Rink Side Family Entertainment. Fun for all ages. Ice skating, Laser Tag, Bobsled express, Maxzilla Monster truck and good pizza. No Rats!

    By Anonymous Websurfer, at 9:49 PM  

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