Random Ramblings

Friday, March 24, 2006

Call now! Operators are standing by!!

I’m beginning to take application for the chick of the summer. Yes single available ladies this could be your opportunity of a lifetime! Beginning slowly and possible leading to a long term commitment you could hang out with me all summer long! Plenty of advancement opportunities and tuition reimbursement is available. Some duties include telling me when my jokes kind of suck, telling me when they are actually pretty good, not complaining that I’m Cardinals fan (this is more important then I’m willing to admit), and many, many more. Admittedly I have some stupid hobbies but nothing too out of the ordinary that you will have to put up with. This is an entry level position with advancement opportunities available. Intelligence and looks slightly important, additional consideration given if you resemble a lady on the baker’s dozen. You should also be familar with the standard age dating formula presented here.

Here's the pre-interview questionnaire. Any lady up for consideration should score at least an 80% on the short answer and true false section. Exceptions can possibily be granted.

Name:
Nickname (if applicable):
Hair:
Eyes:
Body type:
Degree of intelligence 1-10:
1) All time favorite TV show:
2) One famous person you would like to see wiped off the face of the earth:
3) You can live one place in the world, cost is not an issue, where is it?
4) Top 3 favorite movies of all time:
5) Magazines you read regularly:
6) Name one of your guilty pleasures:
7) 3 people living or dead you’d like to have over for dinner:
8) Last book you read:
9) Your dream job:
10) Favorite superhero or cartoon character:
11) Favorite actor and actress:
12) Personal hero (not your parents):
13) Siblings (if applicable):
14) Name one person who you can’t figure out why they are famous (not Paris Hilton):
15) You can only listen to one CD the rest of you life, what CD is it?
16) Worst movie you’ve seen at the theater:
17) Favorite TV theme song:
18) Favorite band:

Short answer section:
19) Name one National and one American league team:
20) Finish this sentence: I see Blue, he looks _________
21) Letterman, Leno, or Conan?
22) Wins it takes to win the World Series:
23) What is an RBI?
24) Who’s in the “A-Team”?
25) How many points are a touchdown worth?
26) Finish this phrase: “What ya gonna do when _________ runs wild on you?”

True or False section
27) Most television sitcoms stink.
28) The tanning salon is a girl’s best friend
29) The music of Dave Matthews Band rules
30) Anything clothing made of silk on a woman is good.
31) Dark roots on bottle blondes look good.
32) John Travolta and Nicholas Cage are good actors.
33) The DH rule is good for baseball.
34) The song “Who Let the Dogs Out” was a crime against humanity.
35) Carrot Top is a real funny stand up comedian

3 Comments:

  • Isn"t thids like online dating that you dist someone else about?

    By Anonymous See if u can figure it out, at 1:26 PM  

  • No this is tongue in cheek and didn't cost me a dime. I can more than likely figure out who you are. How do you think I know I'm huge in Europe? I have it all tracked. By the way your typing skills stink.

    By Blogger Kev, at 2:24 PM  

  • Phenominal.

    By Blogger Ken, at 8:35 AM  

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