Random Ramblings

Friday, June 25, 2004

You my friend may be a cubicle monkey

Well I referred to this yesterday so I wouldn’t forget about it. I am coining a new phrase that will sweep the nation with a rabid following. Consider yourself lucky you’ve been clued in early on. From now until eternity people who work in office positions will be know as “CUBICLE MONKEYS”. The cubicle monkey has a hierarchy that is based on the wild kingdom based on what position they hold within the company. Here’s the break down and description of each level of the hierarchy:

Lemurs: These monkeys are the ones who would be in the office support type positions at the office. The mailroom guys, office service dudes, and maintenance guys are lemurs.

Macaques: These monkeys are a little higher up on the hierarchy in the positions of entry level positions maybe right out of school. They haven’t been there long enough to have an seniority or pull.

Baboons: These monkeys are the people who have progresses slightly from the macaques level but realize their jobs still sucks and realize what they do really doesn’t matter to the company.

Mandrills: These monkeys are the ones in the office who have a lot of sex and/or red butts. If you ever have seen the mandrills at Brookfield Zoo you know what I’m talking about. No other reason to include them other than to get that image of a red mandrill rear in your mind. Oh these office monkeys may fling poo if provoked.

Orangutans: These monkeys are your middle or upper management types. The difference between the orangutans and the higher level chimps is that the orangutans got to their position but have no clue what they are doing in their job. This monkey may have gotten to their position because they have some blackmail photos of some monkey higher in the hierarchy in a compromising position.

Chimp: This would be your section manager who appears to be in control of a large group of people and tries to give the impression they actually know whats going on. In reality the chimp really is living a lie and has no clue.

Gorilla: This would be your company owner or CEO. Someone who has been around for ages and probably has the actual brain of a gorilla. They have probably bamboozled enough people in their careers to attain the highest levels of the cubicle monkey hierarchy.

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