Random Ramblings

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Labor Day Weekend

Well this past weekend Nate and I took the trip to STL to see the Cardinals on Saturday and Sunday. They played the Dodgers and swept the series saw some real good baseball. Saturday we woke up in the morning and drove to STL and were going to this hands on kids museum called “The Magic House”. Nate had a good time and considering we only had to pay half price I couldn’t complain. Saturday night we go to the game the Cardinals only give up two hits but win the game 5-2. The game went pretty quick like 2 ½ hours long. After the game……..things took a turn.
Being the cheap dude that I am if its just the two of us, building castles in the sky just the two of us, (sorry couldn’t resist) we’ll stay in some cheap national chain hotel. The one we stayed in this time name sort of rhymes with “Hotel Fix”. We get to this place and I’m not expecting the Plaza by no means, but not expecting it as bad as it was. In the lobby by the check in desk there are people literally begging for rooms at this hell hole. I had my handy dandy reservation so I moved right in. While the lobby was a little scary it would only get worse from here. We were around the back of the joint on the first floor. We open the door and it was so small it was like the size of a shoebox. The room was so small I had to go outside to change my mind (rimshot)….it was so small when I put the key in the door it broke the bathroom mirror on the opposite wall (rimshot). Yep you guessed it the place was a craphole. I was tired from driving and going to the game so I didn’t really want to stress over it. We got some stuff to eat and before I ate I wanted to wash my hands. There were no fricking towels. I could not believe it, but none the less I didn’t feel like going up front to fight the crowd for towels. I figure I would just air dry in the morning or stand in the shower and dry off. Well Sunday morning comes around and I didn’t really set up the shower curtain too well and the bathroom got a little wet. Since I didn’t have any towels I just left it like it was and we headed out of there. I’ve got to spend a little more on places to stay from now on. Sunday we did eat at Bob Evans and if its Bob Evans its got to be good.
Sunday - - They have a family thing before the games in STL on Sundays and Nate always thinks he has to get on stage to spin the wheel and win a prize. I answer a question he gets on stage spins the wheel and woo hoo more free Magic House tickets! Nate got a pennant with the Cardinals uniforms from the past 100 years or something and he got his Kids Club package of stuff. Sunday was also run the bases day and of course he had to do that. We go to get in line since the Kids Club gets to be at the front of the line in the seventh inning. Who says that membership doesn’t have its privledges? The Cards were up 5-2 when we got in line and then they took us to the bowels of Busch Stadium. The Kids Club gets on the filed in the right filed corner so they run the kids downstairs and back by the bullpen. While we are down there the Cardinals closer comes in the game and gives up a three run homer in the bottom of the ninth, yep its 5-5. Since we’re right around the bullpen the pitchers are out there warming up and other stuff. The other stuff includes using the porta potty that is right back by the bullpen. Since I had the camera I of course had to take pictures of players coming out of the john. We couldn’t see anything in the game so I had to do something to kill time. Anyway the Cards end up winning in the 10th and everyone goes home happy. We go on the field and Nate runs and we head back home. But wait there’s more and there’s good reason I saved this for the very end. If you have recently eaten you may want to come back at a later time and reads this because trust me it ain’t pretty.

Sunday at the game Nate said he had to go to the bathroom so I took him down there. Let me preface this by saying that in now way do I feel that food and fresh fecal matter should be in the same room. The bathroom at the stadium is two rooms one with toilets and the other side has sinks. Nate goes to take a leak and I’m standing against the wall between the two rooms. He gets done taking a leak and heads towards me to wash his hands. As I look up to look where the sinks are I see something that has scarred me possibly for life. Let me take a moment to compose myself its still really hard to talk about. I see a guy get done washing his hands and then proceed to pick up a soft pretzel that he apparently purchased prior to entering the bathroom off the top of the paper towel dispenser…..and…….and……uh……take a bite out of it!!!! When I saw this I was dying a thousand tiny deaths inside. I have never seen a more frightening display in my life. What was this guy thinking? Could he not wait until he was done in the bathroom to buy the soft pretzel he so dearly needed. I’m telling you at a sporting event or a concert in the guys bathroom you put your life at risk. There is no telling where piss has hit in that bathroom and this guy was basically putting whatever has ever touched the top of the paper towel dispenser right into his cake hole. It still is haunting me…man in red and blue striped shirt……bathroom in Busch Stadium…………pretzel with mustard…….off the towel dispenser…….into his mouth.

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