I HATE some Americans....

Part of the family is down at Universal Studios in Orlando for spring break. In the Islands of Adventure side they have a area that is all comic book related stuff. Anyway they do this little parade type deal and about 7 or 8 of the Marvel super heroes come out and sign autographs for the kids and take pictures and stuff. I was down there with version 2 two summers ago and Dr. Doom was one of the guys who came out. Dr Doom is one of the villains of Marvel. Kids would give Doom their little autograph books he would sign them and then just chuck them off to the side and the kids would have to go pick them up. When I saw this I though that guy is living the Dr. Doom gimmick. I absolutely loved him heeling it up, version 2 even liked it because he called him something after he did it. I loved his heel act so much that we watched them come in and do their thing another time just so I could see Doom heel it up big time. It was funny stuff. I thought it was so funny I told the brother in law that this is one thing that he has to see when they do the parade.

Today I got a call from them down there and asked about the super hero parade deal. The guy who sort of watches over the parade said Dr. Doom doesn’t come out any more because too many guests complained about Dr. Doom heeling it up. If you are one of the people that sent Dr. Doom to exile I hate you. Yes I hate you.

Heel Dr. Doom we won’t soon forget you. If I get a chance I’ll post the picture of me on here with both Dr Doom and Green Goblin. I have a pretty swank one with Captain America too.

You know I'm a marketers dream

Yeah I'll pretty much try any new product at least once. Well just for regulars I'm going to bite the bullet and try the new Coke Blak which is desribed as a "new beverage that fuses Coke efferevescence & coffee essence!" Sure I'm not a big Coke fan, more of a Pepsi guy and I don't really dig coffee but I'll try it so you don't have to. I can only begin to imagine how bad your breath has to stink after drinking this stuff, coffee/Coke breath well sign me up. Its released at the beginning on April so I'll check it out then. Then new Vault energy drink from Coke stinks I already tried it. The Gillette Fusion is a upgrade though. See told you I was a marketers dream.

I found this little gem here.

Things are getting NASTY in the David Hasselhoff divorce. It has been revealed in unsealed court documents that his estranged wife, Pamela Bach, is claiming that, “In the past, he has broken my nose and called me ‘whore’, ‘cunt’, ‘bitch’, ’slut’ and ‘drug addict’ in front of our children.” She also claims that she’s had to hire a security guard after he threatened to “break through my security gate, drive his car through the house, beat the door down and go into the house and take my jewelery and sell it.” Those are big accusations. I wonder if his long battle with alcohol and drugs has anything to do with the alleged behavior.

A judge has issued a temporary restraining order requiring David Hasselhoff to stay away from his estranged wife, according to court papers unsealed this week. Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Mark A. Juhas signed the order March 6 ordering the former "Baywatch" star to stay at least 100 yards from actress Pamela Bach except for "peaceful contacts related to court ordered visitation" of one their two teenage daughters.
Bach, 42, has custody of one daughter while Hasselhoff, 53, has custody of the other. Juhas scheduled a hearing for April 4 to decide whether to extend the order to three years.

In her request for the order, Bach claimed instances of domestic violence in December and February. In one incident, police officers were summoned but didn't give Bach an emergency protective order, according to court documents.

Hasselhoff's publicist said the actor "categorically denies" Bach's allegations but declined to elaborate. "Out of consideration for his children, which, as always, remains his paramount concern, he is not going to discuss this publicly," said publicist Judy Katz.

Michael you should have never called your wife a cunt.

I find the thought of the KITT car saying "cunt" funny for some reason.

Super mark week

Well for those regular readers who don't follow wrestling you can probably skip this one right here. For the next week starting on Wednesday I'll be very very markish. Wrestlemania is this weekend at Allstate so there are WWE guys doing all kinds of appearances around here. When WCW was still around I went ot the south side of Chicago to see my all time favorite Ric Flair at a crappy furniture store.

Monday-Watch Raw as usual hope they may up the ante going into the big show. I liked seeing Foley turn a little crazier last week, hopefully he turns total batshit crazy tonight.

Wednesday-Going to get either Booker T or Chris Benoit autograph at Popeye's in town. There are conflicting reports as to who will be there.

Thursday-Going to see Matt Hardy, Gregory Helms, and Victora at a place near work. I'm actaully only going to get Victoria's autograph. I wish that they would bring back batshit crazy Victoria when she was with Stevie Richards. I loved that Victoria. I got Hardy's at a crap CPW show last year and since Helms ended the 3 Count gimmick years ago I have no use for him. Remember 3 Count with Tank Abbott? That entertained me to no end. Dance Tank dance!!

Saturday-Possibly going to the IWA show in the afternoon, going to ROH that evening for sure. IWA is only like 8 miles from ROH so I may just make and entire day out of it. I wish that IWA ran a little further norht because they generally put on some really damn good shows. If I could be serious for a second I'm going to ROH to see Lance Storm. One of the highlights of WCW when it was really really bad. Storm will be getting some of my American dollars at the gimmick table for sure. You should check out his site he's a pretty bright guy, and I'm sure a pretty damn good trainer. ROH has a solid show as well that night with all the ROH regulars. Joe/Daniels are tagging against someone that night.

Sunday-WM22 with Rob from Rob's Place. Here's what I'd like to see happen on the show:
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Triple H-Triple H wins then Flair cashes his MITB shot and wins the title. I atually saw someone propose this on the DVD board and thought I'd like to see that.

World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio-I'm an Angle mark but Rey will probably win here.

Mr. McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels (No Holds Barred Match)-Eh who cares? Probably some big moves from Michaels. Even though Bret says he won't show up I possibly see Hart causing Michaels to lose.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match-Flair winning and so forth. Don't think it will happen though.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry (Casket Match)-I could care less here I hate both of these guys.

Edge vs. Mick Foley (Hardcore Match)-Edge probably wins Foley does some crazy bumps.

United States Champion Chris Benoit vs. JBL-JBL because he's a wrestling god, remember?

World Tag Team Champions Kane & Big Show vs. Chris Masters & Carlito-Masters and Carlito for two reasons. I'm not a big Kane and Show fan and I met Masters at LAX when I was out there for vacation last summer. I recognized the cross tat on his forearm and he was flying back home from Raw the night before.

Women's Champion Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James-James because it will make Trish more interesting chasing the title

Boogeyman vs. Booker T-Boogeyman because the gimmick makes me laugh. Its very old school WWF.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle (Playboy Pillow Fight)-Uh who cares? Candice looks Asian on her cover.

EDIT: 3/28 Thursday since Benoit is going to be in the hood I'm not going to see Booker T. I'm staying close to work to see Victoria and the others. I've decided to pass on the IWA show and just get to the ROH show early. Jim Cornette is signing autographs at the gimmick table so I'll give him a couple bucks since I really hated him when I was a kid. I loved seeing when he got what was coming to him and his tennis racquet. Great managers like Heenan and Cornetter are really what's missing from wrestling today. The type of manager that would usually get the upper hand and it made it that much better when there was a payback from the faces. I miss you great heel managers.

------

Some quick weekend notes:

Rachel McAdams is still hot. Rented Red Eye this weekend. The movie was alright I guess, she stabbed a dude in the windpipe with a pen which was pretty boss.

I thought the not throwing up streak was going to end after 13 years this weekend, but it was a false alarm. Last time I chucked was sophmore year of college, purple Kool Aid had the flu or something. The streak continues so rejoice.

I'm glad that Tony is out of the coma, the first three weeks just sort of showed what guys are kind of shadier than the others. I even called it that the beacon outside the window of the hotel that he was in was the "white light". Paulie Walnuts is still my favorite on the show even though he almost killed Tony with his talking.

That is all for now I guess.

Call now! Operators are standing by!!

I’m beginning to take application for the chick of the summer. Yes single available ladies this could be your opportunity of a lifetime! Beginning slowly and possible leading to a long term commitment you could hang out with me all summer long! Plenty of advancement opportunities and tuition reimbursement is available. Some duties include telling me when my jokes kind of suck, telling me when they are actually pretty good, not complaining that I’m Cardinals fan (this is more important then I’m willing to admit), and many, many more. Admittedly I have some stupid hobbies but nothing too out of the ordinary that you will have to put up with. This is an entry level position with advancement opportunities available. Intelligence and looks slightly important, additional consideration given if you resemble a lady on the baker’s dozen. You should also be familar with the standard age dating formula presented here.

Here's the pre-interview questionnaire. Any lady up for consideration should score at least an 80% on the short answer and true false section. Exceptions can possibily be granted.

Name:
Nickname (if applicable):
Hair:
Eyes:
Body type:
Degree of intelligence 1-10:
1) All time favorite TV show:
2) One famous person you would like to see wiped off the face of the earth:
3) You can live one place in the world, cost is not an issue, where is it?
4) Top 3 favorite movies of all time:
5) Magazines you read regularly:
6) Name one of your guilty pleasures:
7) 3 people living or dead you’d like to have over for dinner:
8) Last book you read:
9) Your dream job:
10) Favorite superhero or cartoon character:
11) Favorite actor and actress:
12) Personal hero (not your parents):
13) Siblings (if applicable):
14) Name one person who you can’t figure out why they are famous (not Paris Hilton):
15) You can only listen to one CD the rest of you life, what CD is it?
16) Worst movie you’ve seen at the theater:
17) Favorite TV theme song:
18) Favorite band:

Short answer section:
19) Name one National and one American league team:
20) Finish this sentence: I see Blue, he looks _________
21) Letterman, Leno, or Conan?
22) Wins it takes to win the World Series:
23) What is an RBI?
24) Who’s in the “A-Team”?
25) How many points are a touchdown worth?
26) Finish this phrase: “What ya gonna do when _________ runs wild on you?”

True or False section
27) Most television sitcoms stink.
28) The tanning salon is a girl’s best friend
29) The music of Dave Matthews Band rules
30) Anything clothing made of silk on a woman is good.
31) Dark roots on bottle blondes look good.
32) John Travolta and Nicholas Cage are good actors.
33) The DH rule is good for baseball.
34) The song “Who Let the Dogs Out” was a crime against humanity.
35) Carrot Top is a real funny stand up comedian

The gems keep coming and other stuff

I watched Trapped in the Closet with the fantastic R Kelly commentary last night and its even better than the regular one. He talks about this thing like its one of the greatest films ever made. He loves talking about the cliffhangers on the thing. He says its something he can see going on forever…we can only hope.

I’m officially adopting American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler as my little sister. She’s like the little sister I never had and just entertains me with the southern fried charm. “Look at the pickles.”

I got two Cardinals tickets from stubhub.com. They were $10 tickets that I ended up paying $21 a piece for. Its better than the prices on ebay as tickets for any game this season are pretty much sold out. The trip to Busch v.2 is the first stop on the 2006 Baseball Love Tour.

That’s all for now back to your sorry existence.

I Have Added a Great Piece

to my library of bad entertainment. I had heard from fellow Chicago wrestling mark Maestroken that R Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” was not to be missed. Trust me truer words were never spoken. There are 12 little vignettes that tell a story of cheating and deceit that are all intertwined. I guess chapters 1- appeared on an DVD that was with one of his CDs, but after the first 5 is when the action really picks up. Did I mention that the entire thing is sung by R Kelly himself? I really can’t put into words how much I love this thing. I’ve only watched the regular version of it so far I will watch the version with commentary by the man himself. If you love unintentionally bad things as much as I do you have to see this piece of work, you will not be disappointed.

NICE!

From the London Sun:

STUNNING Charlize Theron has split from movie hunk Stuart Townsend after more than five years. He was noticeably absent from the Aeon Flux star’s side at last Sunday’s Oscars and the Baftas the week before.Hollywood’s rumour mill went into overdrive.
And last night a pal said: “Charlize is free and single again.“Her relationship with Stuart is well and truly over. They just grew apart. It wasn’t always easy because filming often kept them apart for months.”

Charlize, 30, revealed only weeks ago she had no intention of marrying Dubliner Stuart, 33 — who starred in The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The South African-born actress, who won an Oscar in 2004 for playing a serial killer in Monster, said: “It’s not really what I want — or what he wants."

Charlize you know how to get in contact with me. Just send me an email and I'll take care of you dear. I understand you may need a shoulder to cry on. I'm here for you.

What the heck?

Crazy Uncle Jun shoots Tony in the stomach. I'm guessing once (if?) Tony gets better Jun will find himself in assisted care living.

They can't kill Tony off this early.

I found it funny that Tony was telling AJ that family was the only thing that you can count on.

I like how Vito Spatafore (the former fat guy and hummer expert) is giving out his health tips the entire show.

Whether your a Poli Sci geek or not

this is a beautiful story. A little political intrigue at the World Baseball Classic. I figure half the Cuban team will defect by the end of the thing.

Thoughts on the final 12

Yeah its American Idol talk so deal with it. I only have one issue with the final 12. Most everyone I thought that would have been booted so far has. Last night one of my early favorites Gedeon was passed over in favor of Bucky and Kevin. The only reason that Kevin made it in was he got the nerd vote. There is no way that he is a better singer than Gedeon is. The kid has a lisp, come on it needed to be said. Gedeon was jobbed by America. Kevin should have gotten the boot last week when he did "I Heard it Through the Grapevine". Marvin Gaye should have been rolling over in his grave.
Contrary to popular opinion I don't think rocker dude Chris will make it as far as some think. Agter this week they are doing genre songs and I don't see Chris rocking some show tune which I'm sure will be one week.
Kellie did make it into the final 12. I'm not saying she'll win the thing but she will continue to entertain me. I mean look at her she's absolutely adorable, isn't she?

Phil Hartman. Genius.

I've been banging through the first and second seasons of News Radio, the show is friggin genius. Probably like my second favorite sitcom ever behind Seinfeld. Anyway watching it makes me long for the comedy of Phil Hartman. Everything the guy ever did was just awesome. Who knows what would have been if his wife wouldn't have shot him.

Guilty pleasures

Okay I’m bearing my soul here. These two songs I’ve heard recently on the good old XM and realized how much I actually like them. Yeah yeah I get it they aren’t great songs by any stretch of the imagination. Here they are:

Brandy by Looking Glass

There's a port on a western bay
And it serves a hundred ships a day
Lonely sailors pass the time away
And talk about their homes

And there's a girl in this harbor town
And she works layin' whiskey down
They say "Brandy, fetch another round"
She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say "Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea”

Brandy wears a braided chain
Made of finest silver from the North of Spain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Brandy loves

He came on a summer's day
Bringin' gifts from far away
But he made it clear he couldn't stay
No harbor was his home

The sailor said " Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my love and my lady is the sea”

Yeah, Brandy used to watch his eyes
When he told his sailor stories
She could feel the ocean fall and rise
She saw its ragin' glory
But he had always told the truth, Lord, he was an honest man
And Brandy does her best to understand

At night when the bars close down
Brandy walks through a silent town
And loves a man who's not around
She still can hear him say
She hears him say
"Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my love and my lady is the sea”

"Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
"But my life, my love and my lady is the sea"

I always wanted to date a Brandy just so I could sing her that song. If you thought me liking “Brandy” was bad it only gets worse from here.


I Love You by Climax Blues Band

When I was younger man I hadn't a care
Foolin' around, hitting the town, growing my hair
You came along and stole my heart when you entered my life
Ooh babe you got what it takes so I made you my wife

Since then I never looked back
It's almost like living a dream
And ooh I love you

You came along from far away and found me here
I was playin' around, feeling down, hittin' the beer
You picked me up from off the floor and gave me a smile
You said you're much too young, your life ain't begun, let's walk for awhile

And as my head was spinnin' 'round
I gazed into your eyes
And thought ooh I want you

Thank you babe for being a friend
And shinin' your light in my life
'cause ooh I need you

As my head was comin' round
I gazed into your eyes
And thought ooh I want you

Thanks again for being my friend
And straightenin' out my life
'cause ooh I need you

Since then I never looked back
It's almost like livin' a dream
Ooh I got you

If ever a man had it all
It would have to be me
And ooh I love you

My other African friend wants me to call him

but I just sent him basically the same email I sent the other guy. If I don't hear back I'm going to email him like I'm pissed off.

Sometimes the jokes write themselves

From our friends at cnn.com:

'The boys held each other and prayed'
Smokestack worker missing, others saved in dramatic rescue


Monday, March 6, 2006; Posted: 9:18 a.m. EST (14:18 GMT)

CHARLESTON, West Virginia (AP) -- The father of a power plant worker plucked off a burning 100-story smokestack says his son complained about safety issues only days before fire erupted at the facility.
Workers were installing a fiberglass lining inside the power plant's stack when the fire broke out Saturday. Three workers were trapped and a fourth was missing and presumed dead.
David Earley II, one of the rescued workers, had complained that a hoist used to lift materials and workers had no brakes and was held aloft only by its gears, his father, David Earley, told The Associated Press.

"There needs to be a safe alternative to get people down," the elder Earley said Sunday night about American Electric Power's Kammer-Mitchell plant. "My son asked for that."
Earley, 29, of New Matamoras, Ohio; Jay McDonald, 59, of Kanab, Utah; and Timothy Wells, 36, of New Martinsville, were trapped for two hours above the flames before a dramatic rescue by a police helicopter.

McDonald was in good condition Sunday night at a Pittsburgh hospital, while Earley and Wells were treated and released. The workers are employed by Pullman Power LLC of Kansas City, Missouri.

American Electric Power spokeswoman Carmen Prati-Miller said early Monday she was unaware of any of the safety concerns raised by Earley and could not comment. She referred questions to Pullman, which did not immediately return a telephone message.
The cause of the fire had not been determined Sunday. The stack liner was destroyed, and large amounts of debris were lying in the stack's base. Pullman engineers will determine when it will be safe for crews resume a search.

Earley said his son, who was terrified of heights, usually operated equipment from the ground but was told Saturday night to go to the top of the stack. "They told him if he didn't get up there he would be fired," the elder Earley said. "My son didn't have an air pack or safety harness. He called down and said he needed a safety harness and someone sent one up. All them boys would be dead if they didn't have a safety harness."

Marshall County Sheriff John Gruzinskas said the missing worker has two small children and his wife is seven months pregnant. His name won't be released until his body is recovered, the sheriff said.

Earley's son described a terrifying ordeal to his father, one in which he said his stomach and thighs were burned through three layers of clothes he was wearing.

"The boys held on to each other and prayed," Earley said. "They thought the stack was coming down. The air luckily enough was blowing some of the smoke away from them and they could get some fresh air. They had to keep putting the fire out on each other because their clothes would catch fire."
Earley said his son was the only one with a working radio and talked to his co-worker who is believed to have died "right until his last breath."

"He can't talk to me about what that boy told him," Earley said. "David is OK physically. Mentally he's a basket case. He just keeps crying."

American Electric Power is upgrading the coal-fired power plant to bring it into compliance with federal air pollution regulations. The plant is about 68 miles southwest of Pittsburgh.

Brokeback Smokestack. "I wish I knew how to quit you."

Another plane crashed in Africa and they need my help

Well I got the same email I got about a week and a half ago but this time its from a guy named Ali Zongo. Exact same letter I got from Amiri Babo, so I pretty much sent the same letter. I think Africa needs to look into air safety if all these planes are crashing. There's a little something special there in the end per someone's request. Yeah I forgot to change the name in the beginning from Mr Babo.


Good Day Mr Babo
That is one cool name Ali Zongo. It sounds like someone you would see in a video game. Anyway my mom always taught me to help people out in a situation so I am more than willing to help you out. I’m just wondering if the person who died in the plane crash was a sexy if he wasn’t as sexy as me no one would believe we were related. I’m talking I’m real sexy people tell me I look like a young Ernest Thomas.
I’m not too good at math but I think 30% of $25 million dollars is $9.5 million and I don’t think I can pass up this opportunity. I was wondering do you have a passport to get into the US from your country for the disbursement of my part of the money. I didn’t graduate from high school so I ain’t too sure what disbursement means, but disbursement is good right? It’s a good thing that my daddy left me the family business and I just take money for me directly out of their bank account. I don’t have to work much but I get payed lots of money. I have some nice spinning rims on my El Camino.
How long will this transaction take place. So please send me that paperwork whatever I have to print out I want to make a surprise my girlfriend Candi on her birthday. She really wants to get a set of gold fronts for her teeths but I don’t want to spend the money. Once I get disbursed from you I can buy her the fronts for her teeths. I am hoping to hear from you very much as I’m sure you are very nice sir. I have to go now as Candi is telling me that my corn dogs and macaroni and cheese are done. I hope to hear from you soon. Do women in Africa walk around without any shirts on like I see in National Geographic? I would totally dig that cause I likes me some African boobies.

Yours truly,
Franklin Stubbs

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060301/ap_en_mu/vietnam_glitter

I hope he gets violated in prison to Rock and Roll (part 2). I'll consider that payback for making that song and thus making Americans suffer through it at various sporting events. If you really think about it the rhythm of the song really lends itself to that kind of activity.

He should have said he was doing if for "research" like Pete Townsend did. Oh yeah I took it there.

One short AI note

This girl Kellie Pickler on the show is adorable. Too bad she's too young for the famous formula. A new Top list will be posted over the next few days, just some minor changes.

Join the Revolution

You need to have a pocket sized hipster where you work. Go to McPhee.com and pick up Fuzz. Its pretty boss, hip cat.